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The Eye-opening Reality Of Situationship: Friend, Fling, Or Something More?
Ah, the situationship. It’s the dating world’s version of Schrödinger’s cat: both committed and uncommitted, existing in a state of emotional limbo. This confusing space, somewhere between “no strings attached” and “forever,” leaves many wondering: “Are we or aren’t we?”
What is a Situationship?
For the uninitiated, a situationship involves two people (heterosexual, gender fluid, and fabulous) who share emotional connection, intimacy, and quality time—minus the labels. Think of it as a “hookup with emotional benefits,” slightly different from “friends with benefits,” which starts platonically and slowly creeps into something more. A situationship begins with the “I want to rip your clothes off” mentality. What is the one thing they both have in common? They lack the dreaded C-word: commitment.
Is this the fault of dating apps, with their buffet of options, creating a generation of commitment-phobes? Maybe. But hey, at least we’re honest! “Looking for Love” is so last season. Now, we can choose from “long-term partner” all the way to “short-term fun” or “still figuring it out.”
Nuisance or Breath of Fresh Air?
Some view situationships with annoyance, constantly questioning where they stand, wondering whether or not the person they’re currently dating (or having hot sex with) is as into them, or whether they’re about to flee without so much as a fond farewell or kiss on the cheek.
Others see them as a breath of fresh air, free from rigid definitions. There’s a certain appeal to living in the moment, enjoying the “now” without the pressure of extravagant weddings, picket fences and 2.5 kids. Instead, you can focus on Ferraris, Jimmy Choos and bachelor pads.
But on a serious note, it allows you to begin a journey of exploration, testing the dating waters with your armbands on and getting to know people who might not fit your normal dating mould. So your normal type is a corporate maestro who earns six figures? Why not have a little fun with that edgy rocker sporting face tattoos, a nose ring and a motorbike that would make your mother pass out if she ever saw you grace the leather of its seat? You never know, the reason you’re still single could be down to the fact you’ve been chasing the wrong guy or girl.
The Upside?
The upside? There’s no pressure to find your soulmate before your 30th birthday. The other upside? You’re empowered to walk away when things fizzle out without societal or parental guilt. The cherry on the cake? You’re no longer petrified to remove yourself from an untenable situation just because it’s what society (or your parents) deems right.
With this in mind, situationships provide structure for comprehending relationships that don’t fit neatly into that perfectly packaged Hermes box and instead arrive in a slightly rough-around-the-edges envelope that may have been posted to the wrong address one too many times.
Whether a short, long-term or long-distance situationship, you should see each (whether they’re still ongoing or long over) as serving a purpose in your lives for a period of time, as temporary lessons, teaching you about yourself and what you truly desire in a relationship. The best thing about a situationship? It encourages you to live in the now. In this sense, these contemporary relationships can be quite powerful and seldom end on a bad note. In most cases, they end peacefully, with a lingering friendship or a reliable ‘plus one’ to that random wedding invite, a hot and steamy hook-up in a foreign city or someone to cuddle on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
So, is a situationship a waste of time? Not necessarily. It can offer stability and companionship, minus the “what’s next?” anxieties of long-term relationships. Think of it as a delicious appetiser before the main course – a fun, low-pressure way to explore your options. Just remember, like all good things, situationships can come to an end. But who knows? Maybe that’s the beauty of it.
