Joanna is the Junior Wellness Lead for SSEDITORIAL Magazine, specialising…
Rejection isn’t easy whether you’re being rejected or the one doing the hard bit. However, a part of growing as a person is learning how to come to terms with your feelings and communicate them to others. It might not be what you want to hear, but the easiest way to let someone down isn’t to ghost them and hope they get the message. After all, you wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end. So here’s an uncomplicated, friendly and healthy way to let people down easy:
1. Sit Down With Your Feelings
First, make sure that you definitely aren’t interested in dating the person you want to reject. There’s nothing worse than letting someone down and then getting their hopes up again. Secondly, remember that it’s okay not to have feelings for them even if they treat you well and check most of the boxes. It’s impossible to like everyone, let alone want to date them. Ultimately, it’s best to wait for someone you’re crazy about.
2. Honesty Is the Best Policy
If someone keeps hitting on you even though you haven’t shown any signs of interest, be honest with them. Don’t try to come up with an excuse; that you’re already in a relationship or worse, that you aren’t ready to date just yet because they might hope you’ll change your mind. The only way to let them down is to rip off the band-aid but be kind at the same time. Similarly, don’t lie after a date and say that you had a great time unless you tell them that you only see them as friends.
3. It’s Okay To Send a Text
If you want to reject someone you’ve been on dates with, it’s a good idea to do it face-to-face to help them process it better. However, if you want to reject someone after the first date or when you haven’t been out at all, it’s okay to do it via text. Many people go on multiple dates and keep their options open until they find ‘the one.’ So, while kind, it’s unnecessary to let them all down in person. You also don’t know what kind of person they’re after meeting them once, so you won’t know how they’ll take the rejection.
4. Use ‘I’ Statements
Don’t be blunt and tell them that they aren’t what you’re looking for or that you aren’t attracted to them. Instead, you can thank them for their time, but since you didn’t feel the connection, you don’t see it going anywhere further. You can also say you had fun and think they’re a great person but not someone you want to build a future with. Or that you just didn’t feel the spark. What you say will depend on your circumstances but remember to focus on how you feel and not highlight what others might lack. Here are some examples you can use:
“Hi, I think you’re great, but I didn’t feel the romantic connection between us. I wish you luck with future dates.”
“I had so much fun yesterday. But I have to be honest; I don’t see us as anything more than friends.”
“I don’t wanna waste your time, so I’m just gonna say it now. I like you, but we should stay friends.”
“It was fun yesterday, but I didn’t feel the spark. I hope you’ll find someone more for you.”
5. Don’t Beat Yourself Up
If they seem to be a great person, rejecting them might be especially difficult. However, you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what feels best for you. As long as you did your part and let them down nicely, you did the right thing. Rejection is an unavoidable part of dating.
Joanna is the Junior Wellness Lead for SSEDITORIAL Magazine, specialising in mental health, wellness and lifestyle. In her spare time, she likes to write scripts and dance.