Dating apps are now more popular than ever, with Tinder boasting 75 million active users. Yet, many still struggle to find love (or at least someone nice to date). One of the reasons is that the apps aren’t designed to help anyone meet the right partner. This is because their main goal is to make money. But another problem is that they’re also too impersonal. There’s something cold about choosing someone based mainly on their looks and trying to figure out if you’re attracted to them just after exchanging text messages.
I’m not a fan of online dating, and an increasing number of people agree with me. But we want to form a connection or even meet new friends. So, what’s the alternative, apart from joining a class or changing jobs? It seems like it might be speed dating. At least, it’s pretty close to being an alternative.
I’ve always wanted to try speed dating, even before I started using dating apps. It sounded like such a fun idea to try, and very 90s. I can’t remember the last time I met someone not through friends or apps and decided to keep in touch with them afterwards. Luckily, the events are now a monthly thing in many cities in the UK. All you have to do is sign up on the website and pay a fee. But is it worth it?
Here are things to keep in mind:
Speed Dating Might Be Awkward
Even though you’re talking to someone face to face and can judge how you get on straight away, it still feels a bit forced. It doesn’t help that you only have about 3—5 minutes to chat with each person before the time’s up. Because the time is so short, you have the same conversation with nearly everyone you speak to. So, it might feel more like a chore than a fun way to spend the evening.
Most People Take Speed Dating Seriously
That’s how you should approach it if you want to find a serious partner, right? On the one hand, it’s good to know what you want and be open to settling down with someone. But on the other hand, you might want to take things slow. From my experience, people who participate in the events expect you to know where you see yourself in 5 years and seek a life partner instead of wanting to go on dates and see where things go.
Attraction Still Matters
It might not be the primary focus of speed dating, but it still matters if you’re physically attracted to someone. Even if you have a great connection with one of the participants, it doesn’t mean there will be a spark. But at least you can avoid the opposite scenario: if you’re into someone you met at the dating event, at least you know it was the combination of both their looks and personality.
Rejection Might Sting More
I dislike speed dating the most (or at least the one I went to) because the organisers let you know which participant liked you after the event. I got an e-mail notification saying this, and that person wanted to match with me. Someone even sent me a private message (although I can only open it if I pay for a premium account). When you’re using dating apps, you won’t match with a person who doesn’t find you attractive and have hundreds of other people to swipe on. But with speed dating, you know precisely who rejected you, which might sting even more. After all, they got to know your personality too.
People Might Still Lie
Speed dating events have an age bracket, but some participants still fool the system. Don’t ask me how, but it happens. Similarly, they could choose to lie about several other things. In the end, speed dating has the same challenges as online dating.
Overall, speed dating is a unique way to meet people and can be a lot of fun, even though there are some things you should be aware of before attending. Try it and see for yourself.
