The Politics Behind Looking Good For Your Age

If you look younger than you are, you can probably relate to having a love-hate relationship with this fact. When I was a teenager, I hated that I still resembled a child, and I appreciated it when I got a little older. Now, at almost 28 years old, I find it bittersweet. Yes, it’s nice that the ageing process hasn’t visibly started for me yet. Yes, it’s nice that I don’t have wrinkles. And yes, it’s fun to surprise people and be ID’d to buy Redbull. But at the same time, the comment I hear the most often when I share my age is problematic. “You look good for your age” isn’t a compliment.

Are women allowed to age?

That comment might seem like an innocent compliment, but it’s backhanded. It implies that firstly, I’m old. Secondly, that there’s something wrong with getting older. And unfortunately, the latter is kind of true. Not that getting older is a bad thing but women’s worth is often tied to their youth– I’ve never heard that comment pointed at men (kind of the same as ‘you’d look prettier if you smiled’). And if you think about it, there are very few men out there who turn to Botox or even worry about wrinkles. Women, on the other hand, are pressured to prevent the signs of ageing from a young age. In a way, women aren’t allowed to age.

Ageism in media

The saying that men age like wine while women age like milk that I’ve been hearing since I was really young conditioned me to believe that it’s true. Now that I’m in my late 20s, I look around and see that it’s quite the opposite. Unfortunately, that belief is heavily ingrained in our minds. It doesn’t help that the pop culture still favours young women while it allows men to age all they want.

If you look at the most famous movies, you’ll know what I mean. Have you ever wondered why James Bond is played by the same actor but women by his side are constantly replaced by younger actresses? Why does the actress always have to be 20 years younger than the male lead? At the same time, it’s quite difficult to find a movie in which the female partner is much older than her male partner.

The film industry is the biggest culprit of ageism. A lot of female actresses have recently opened up about how hard it is for them to be cast after a certain age. For example, Olivia Wilde was told she was too old for a role of a love interest of Leonardo DiCaprio who was 39 at the time. She was 28.

At 40, just like many others, Meryl Streep worried that each movie will be her last. It seems like we either see very young women on the screen or elderly ladies. If there’s no in-between, maybe that’s why men are surprised when they hear what my age is. They have no point of reference.

You’re not that old

When I hear that I can’t be 28 or that I look good for my age, I often wonder, how am I supposed to look then? Yes, I’m not a straight-out-of-high-school young girl but am I meant to be all wrinkled or appear to be closer to 50 than 20? Ana de Armas, known for Knives Out and Blade Runner, is 35 but people marvel at how young she allegedly looks. But in my head, all I think is, she looks exactly her age. Because women in their 30s look good, period.

It feels like I’ll be hearing this comment for a while. But the silver lining is that I’m no longer afraid of ageing. It will be nice to finally escape all that pressure to be beautiful and young. Women are more than just their appearance anyway.