How to Identify if Your Partner is Jealous Of Your Success
Jealousy in relationships is a common problem. Some try to control what their partner does because they fear spending time with others will lead to a breakup. But what’s not often discussed is a scenario in which your partner is jealous of your happiness and envies your success. Any kind of jealousy might negatively impact your relationship. So, it’s best to address it as soon as you spot the signs. Have you ever wondered if your partner’s weird behaviour might be down to his insecurities?
1. They Aren’t Really Happy for You
A supportive partner congratulates you on achieving your goals, but more importantly, they’re also truly happy for you. When you radiate with joy, they do too. If your partner offers words of support and praise but becomes withdrawn when you share the good news, it might mean they’re jealous of you. Some partners might also come up with excuses as to why they can’t make it to your celebratory dinner and shut you down whenever you talk about your success.
2. They Discourage Your Ideas
Pay attention to how your partner responds when you tell them about your goals and see if you can spot a pattern. Do they get as excited for you, or do they dismiss the idea with too many ‘buts’? It’s okay if a partner wants to ensure that you consider all risks. In fact, it’s a way to look out for you. Not everyone has to be comfortable with taking risks, and your partner might have anxiety. But they might seem to be insistent that it’s not going to work out every single time. In that case, they aren’t just pessimistic or worried but possibly jealous too.
3. They Act Insecure
If you have a better-paid job than your partner and it makes them feel inferior, you’ll notice that they act insecure whenever you bring the subject up. When you talk about your job, they might focus on the negatives. For example, you might be telling your friends that you can finally afford holidays abroad because of a recent promotion, and your partner will say something like, “But it’s a bit boring and a long commute, isn’t it?” They might also downplay your success in a similar way.
In their eyes, your promotion might not be worth celebrating because other people climbed the ladder sooner. A very insecure partner might even ask you not to mention what you do to their friends and family. This kind of behaviour might come from a fear of being ridiculed but is unfair to you.
4. They Display a Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
Do you often wonder what you did wrong because your partner gives you the silent treatment for no reason? A person who is jealous of your success feels insecure, but rather than admitting it, they prefer to act passive-aggressive. Such partners might also expect a lot of support when they’re struggling but not offer the same in return and even seem to relax every time things go wrong in your professional life. Unfortunately, this behaviour might eventually make you become less excited and invested in your professional life.
Talk to your partner if you can relate to the signs on the list. They might not realise how much their insecurities are showing or even that they’re insecure at all. Sometimes an honest conversation can help them realise that they aren’t competing against you and that their role is to support you. Some jealous partners are the way they are because of high family expectations and often gender stereotypes (e.g. men have to earn more than women), so it’s worth giving them a chance to work things through. But if they decide their ego is more important than your happiness, it’s time to choose yourself and move on.
