Could Meeting Your Ex Years Later Be a Good Idea?

When it comes to relationships with exes, most people give the same kind of advice: some things are better buried in the past. And in many cases, it’s true. If your breakup was particularly messy or worse, if your ex cheated, what good would reconnecting with them do? At the same time, just because you had a romantic relationship with someone and it’s done doesn’t mean they have to stay out of your life forever.

But before we get into why meeting your ex can be a good idea, make sure that you’re ready to do so. If your ex was abusive, you haven’t healed from the breakup, you feel unsafe, or you still have feelings for them, it’s best to stay away. No matter how changed they might seem now. And if you just went your separate ways and have had many heartbreaks since then, here’s why seeing your ex years later can be beneficial to you.

Personal Growth

Meeting your ex isn’t just facing your fears and insecurities; it’s also facing the person you used to be. And hopefully, that person is way less experienced and mature. Even if you’re reconnecting with your ex just a couple of years later, chances are that you managed to achieve the goals you set back then, and you’ve changed for the better. Meeting someone from your past is a great reminder that you’re on the right track to get where you want to be in life.

Additional Perspective

If you’ve grown, it’s likely that your ex isn’t the same person either. And more often than not, you might wonder how you became attracted to them in the first place. You might realise that you have completely different priorities and that you aren’t compatible at all. And you probably never were. When you’re in love with someone, you’re partially blind to their flaws and how well they fit in your life. Reconnecting with your ex can serve as a warning to remember that the person you’re in love with is just a person. How compatible you are is more important than what you feel for them.

Receive Closure

People tend to mature over time. If some things were left unsaid when you and your ex broke up, now might be a good time to clarify them. It’s not always possible, and your ex might still suck at communication. But at least this is a closure in itself; having a partner who can’t communicate is a recipe for disaster, and since you no longer have feelings for them, it’s easy to see it now.

New Relationships

Just because you aren’t compatible as lovers doesn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t work out as friends. Whether your ex is the only person you know in town or he happens to be visiting, there’s no harm in forgetting about the past and hanging out. And since many years have passed and the hurt is gone, you might be finally ready to stay friends.

Time for Reflection

Even if the breakup was painful, forgetting the good parts is difficult. Seeing your ex after years might bring a sense of nostalgia; you might have been more naïve back then but also younger and more innocent than you are now. Sometimes, it’s good to sit down with someone who knew you so well and talk about the past.

Guilt Alleviation

If you were the one who initiated the breakup or hurt your ex, it’s never too late to give them closure or even apologise for past mistakes. Owning up to your mistakes shows maturity and helps lessen the guilt you might not have even been aware of.